HUH?
by XxTru-AngelxX
Summary: Three friends find they are in ME, but they dont know yet. To find out where they are, they cause choas and annoy people along the way. will the people of ME survive the three girls?
1. Don't leave me Bitch

Ok this is the plot three friends are thrown into Middle Earth (yes i know its been done Before), No they are not May-sues. three friends wake up and are middle earth, not knowning what the hell to do or where they are just yet they set out to find out and cuase chaos.

Emma- dark blonde who hates elves (cough physco)

Lizzie-brown and red head (dont let her near any sugar)

Hayley- brown and blonde hair (shrugs, delusional)

this story is based on me and my friends going to middle earth enjoy the our wierd humour and torture.

Dont read if you a fan of legolas he will get tormented. you have been warned.

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In a strange room decorated with swirls of purple sat three girls round a small purple table covered in papers and notes. All three of the girls looked annoyed and board.

"ahhh fuck this I can't take anymore, this is absolute fecking bollocks, I can't this remember this shit so there's no point in re-remember it" a girl with dark blonde hair said and chucked the papers on the floor.

"emma, look at the mess we'll never get it in order now" the shortest of the group said while running her fingers through her brown and red hair.

"duh I think that was the bloody point other wise she wouldn't of done it" replied the last of the three tying up her already messed up brown and blonde hair.

"would you two stop fecking around with your hair its pissing me off"

"Chill I was tying it up for fawks sake"

"soo and what the hell up with Fawk that's a bird not a cuss word you wank"

"well ya nicked my word so I needed another"

"could at least of though of a decent one"

"I think its great, you just fawking mental if you think its not great"

"Shut the fuck up with that word other wise I'll smack ya"

"Fawk fawk fawk fawk fawk"

"THAT'S IT YOUR FUCKING GETTING IT NOW"

"ARRgghhh not the pillas I'm soo scared"

"PILLOW FIGHT" screamed the two girls while getting armed with pillows

"OWW THAT'S NOT A PILLOW THAT LIZZIES FECKING SCHOOL BAG"

"oops, hey that my word"

"naw its mine now"

"DIE BITCH!" emma came charging at hayley and whacked her over the head with the school bag.

"UGHH" Hayley said before she fell unconscious.

"EMMA!"

"WHAT ITS HER OWN FAWKING FAULT…..DAMMIT, stupid fecking word" Emma grumbled.

BANG

"wot the fecking hell was that" emma mumbled

"and lizzie get the fuck off me"

"sorry emma….Emma?"

"yeah"

"do you feel weird?"

"wot the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"urgghhh……………."

"Lizzie?…You fecking Bitch don't leave me alone" Emma said before she drifted in darkness.


	2. I dont wannna DIE!

**Hayley POV**

"I remember there was mist, swirling mist upon a vast glossy lake" hehe I waited ages to sing that after I saw the Phantom of the Opera.

"Oy shut the fuck up" shouted Emma.

Urgh, why am I laying on grass. Bitch if they shoved me on the front lawn again I'll kill them, I looked around yep grass but not the front lawn urgh not even my house either damnit where the hell are we.

"EMMA GET THE FUCK UP" I shouted

"NO IM TOO BUSY FECKING SLEEPING TO GET UP" she shouted back.

I swear if she doesn't get up now I'm going to boot her.

"Emma if you were sleeping you wouldn't of replied"

"Urgh bitch, I'm up" she mumbled.

Hehehe 1 point to me, urgh at least 10 to Emma, well can't win them all.

"WOT THE FUCK, WHERE THE FECKING HELL ARE WE"

he, seems like she noticed where we are or where we're not.

"WE….WE'RE…..IN A BLOODY FIELD, WHERE'S IS THERE A BLOODY FIELD IN MACHESTER CITY CENTRE"

"emma that's not the point we've got to figure where we are not where we're not"

"SHUT UP"

ok that didn't go well, at least she hasn't turned to violence yet, urgh I shouldn't of said that knowing my luck I will be the one to get hit.

"LIZZIE GET THE FECKING HELL UP" emma screamed at lizzie who is the only person I have ever known to sleep through a earthquake, well ok over exaggerating, but honestly that girl can sleep through anything.

"ummm Mummy Lalalalalala" mumbled lizzie

ohhh god that is just too freaking, its just reminds you of a horror film and the next thing you know….

BANG

"IM NOT YOUR FUCKING MOTHER, DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR FECKING MOTHER, NO, NOW GET THE FUCK UP"

At least it wasn't me, looked like it hurt though, getting kicked always hurt.

"OWW EMMA YOU BLOODY NUT JOB THAT BLOODY WELL HURT"

"I Don't GIVE A FUCK YOU Wouldn't GET UP SO I MADE YOU"

urgh god I think I'm getting a headache, I don't know what worse me fighting with Emma or Lizzie, although I usually last long in the verbal match. This is getting too much I'm trying too block out the shouting at the moment but its really annoying me now and I don't like that. So my peaceful ways and me say

"FUCKING HELL SHUT UP"

They go quiet thank god, they're just staring at me but like I care.

"Now if you haven't wondered we are in the middle of no-where of somewhere and with your shouting I wouldn't be surprised if somebody heard us"

Now as I say that I didn't think of the consequences that go with it, because as I said that with heard hooves.

Ok so there's horses here, well I think there horses, you can never tell, so to find exactly where we are we just stand there until they come.

Lizzie sees the people coming towards so she runs ahead, me and emma are having a conversation until we here Lizzie scream.

"GET OFF ME"

Emma and me set of to where Lizzie is, urgh bad idea that is because right in front of us is the most damn ugliest thing I've ever seen and I've seen quite a few horror films, to like the twits we are we go up to them and shout.

"WOT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING"

Now you can imagine it two girls one 5ft4 and the other 5ft5 going up to a group of over 6ft ugliest things you've ever seen and saying that, it was pretty funny if I wasn't scared shitless.

"Look what we have here boys some more pretty men flesh we can play with"

Now no woman would liked to be describe as something to play with, but with our not thinking and going straight in.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YO PIECE OF SHIT WE AINT A MAN AND WE AINT CERTAIN NOT GOING TO BE YOUR PLAY THING" I say while kicking the one holding Lizzie in the Shin.

HA he dropped her score me but ohhooo he looks a lil mad, and that thing is coming straight towards me. FUCk fuck fuck way the hell aren't I moving. That ugly thing is coming for me and what do I do stand there, Bloody brilliant.

Wait, yay Emma my saviour comes in and starts bashing the ugly thing on the head with a huge ass rock, heeehehe funny imagine.

"DON'T..bash..YOU..bash…GO..bash…ANY...bash..WHERE…bash…

NEAR..bash…HER"

"Urghh Emma?"

"WOT!" she looked at me with a feral gleam, scary

"I think he's dead bow"

"Wooops"

hehehe the thing you know it we're running for our lives while the ugly asses are chasing us, but the fact that Emma is taunting them add to the factor.

"OY U DUNDERHEADS CANT YOU DO BETTER THAN THAT IVE SEEN SNAILS GO FASTER"

Well that definitely added to their one hundred and reason to kill us.

Us three running the most we have ever done in our life away from these things wanting to kill you, yep that's the reason why we're fast we don't wanna die!

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please if you want this story to continue review thanxs

i will do another chapter tomorrow before i decide its fate enjoy


	3. Haldir Who?

**Emma POV**

Now were legging it through a god damn forest trying to get rid of the ugly ones, when Lizzie trips and goes flying head first into a tree, knocking her self unconscious.

"Oh for fucks sake" I scream. The one time would need to keep moving and she's unconscious, its bloody great.

"it's alright Emma I've think we've lost them" the twit next to me says, yes its Hayley but I'm in too much of a foul mood at the moment. I mean we're stuck in a bloody fucked up place where we haven't got a clue where we are, yes we're screwed.

I collapse next to Lizzie, there's no point in going anywhere when she's like that.

**3 hours Later**

"fuck this I'm waking her up, I'm bored" so I go up to wake Lizzie gently.

HA gently my arse, gentle is not in my vocab, I go up and kick her in her backside.

"OWWW EMMA"

how the fuck does she know its always me?….oh yeah because it's always me that does it, My bad. Anyway at least she's up.

"EMMA WHY THE HELL DID YOU KICK ME, DON'T YOU KNOW YOU COULD CAUSE ME DAMAGE, THAT BLOODY WELL HURT, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF I DID THAT TO YOU?………"

yeah and the rambling starts by now we all know to block out what she is saying, and her lecture lasts for a grand total of 20 minutes before I end throwing a rock at her head.

Ha bitch that shut ya up!

Until I realise that she's pointing at me.

"Wot the fuck are pointing at bitch" I shout it's really pisses me off when someone points at me.

"GET THAT FUCKING ARROW OUTTA MY FACE NOW YOU PANSY ASS"

wot the… oh it's just the twit shouting, but an arrow, wot the hell is she on?

I turn around to face the twit when, what do you know it I've got a bloody arrow in my face too, now a pointy thing right in my face doesn't go well towards me so I rip the arrow out of my face and snap it while whacking the dick round the head.

"Don't YOU POINT THAT SHIT AT ME, YOU BETTER BE GLAD I ONLY SMAKCED YOU"

Now for the first time at looked at the person I just smacked round the head, ok over 6ft damn he's tall, I think he's a he, you never tell with that long hair, heheh Hayley was right with the pansy comment he really does look like a pansy.

"EMMA!"

"WOT" I shouted.

"I KNOW WHERE WE ARE"

well woopdedoo bout bloody time too, and why the hell are the pansys holding their hands too their ears, aahhh I like I care.

"WELL WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE THEN?"

"GUESS"

"I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING GUESS, TELL ME NOW"

"HEHEHEH WE'RE IN MIDDLE EARTH"

God what is the twit on, Middle Earth that's a laugh and that would mean these pansys are…..

"AND EMMA YOUR BAD DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU JUST SMACKED?"

Oh the little bitch is laughing now once I get my hands on her I'm going to strangle all the air outta her. I look up at the face again of who I smacked he certainly looks familiar.

"WHO THE FUCK IS HE THEN"

"HALDIR"

"HALDIR WHO?" I must be stupid because I can't remember him.

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ok third chap R&R please. 


	4. ASS outta u and Me

"DAMN IT YOU KNOW HALDIR, THE ONE WHO KICKS THE BUCKET IN THE SECOND FILM"

"OHH YEAH I REMEMBER HIM, PRETTY MUCH A DOPE IF YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING"

"ummm guys I don't think you should be shouting those things" Lizzie whispered to them.

"EMMA DON'T TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT YOU WOULDN'T OF SEEN THAT EITHER"

"WELL DUH, THAT'S BECAUSE I'M NOT A BLOODY ELF, ANY WAY WHY YOU STICKING UP FOR HIM?"

"Guy they are listening you know"

"CAUSE I WANT TO, he's nice **cough **looking" Hayley mumbled.

"WOT WAS THAT?"

"GUY SHUT THE HELL UP"

both girls turned round to face Lizzie, she was still standing there with an arrow against her neck fuming.

"hey Liz why you got an arrow to your neck" Emma said finally noticing that she had one.

"Well I don't know maybe because WE'RE TRESSPASSING IN THEIR GOD DAMN FOREST" she shouted.

"Lizzie it's not god damn forest it's the Golden woods, Lothlorien" Hayley stated.

"Well no shit. I was being sarcastic"

"Opps"

"LOTR freak" Lizzie mumbled

"I HEARD THAT" Hayley shouted back.

"bitch"

"THAT TOO"

"I SWEAR ITS LIKE YOU'RE A BLOODY ELF WOTH YOUR HEARING"

"One can only dream"

"YOUR STILL A FREAK" Lizzie shouted

"WELL WE'RE RELATED SO WHAT DOES THAT MAKE YOU" Hayley replied.

So the three girls are standing there arguing while the elves are standing there wondering what the hell to do with these three girls. The girls go quiet and Haldir steps in"

"Who are you and what are you doing in Lothlorien?" he demanded

"Wow take a chill pill"

"Emma shut up"

"No you shut up"

"**DĭN" **Haldir shouted

"In English Please dipshit"

"Emma can't you shut up for once?" Hayley asked

"NOPE"

"Now I'm only going to ask you once more, Who are you and what are you doing in Lothlorien woods?"

"Uhh….we…need…." Lizzie stuttered

"Noro lim, noro lim" Hayley mumbled

All the elfs turned towards hayley as she said those words.

"damn it I forgot they could hear everything"

"What did you say?" Lizzie whispered

"That we need to run and run fast"

"hehehe where did you learn that?"

"God knows, Urgh I want to to fir"

"huh you want I fir, like a fir tree" lizzie asked

"No that's elvish that's mean die dippy"

"where did you learn elvish dess?"

"WOT THE FU……." Emma started

"I don't know"

"If you don't tell us then we will assume your spies and have no choice but to kill now speak quicky"

haldir demanded

"Hehhe assume makes and ass outta u and me"

"WOT!"

"nothing….." hayley mumbled.

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another chap, i have no clue whether or not you like it or not. 

please R&R


	5. Commando

Hayley POV 

Ok maybe I shouldn't of said that, but it was soo tempting, now you tell me if he said that to you would you of done that, never mind. The glare Haldir was throwing me wasn't too pleasant but that bit wasn't my fault, well maybe a little but it was Emma mostly.

"Emma what are you doing" I whispered, the elves had finally decided that we were nuts, well not in those terms but it sounded the same and tied us up.

"nothing you'll have to wait and see" she whispered back

Now there's jack sit to do there's Me, Emma and Lizzie stuck in this flet while the rest of the pansy elves are down below. Now don't think that I don't like the elves, no in fact it's the opposite but they have been a pain since we ran in to them.

Haldir kept checking in on us every so often but all he got from Emma was violent curses it was pretty fun to watch at the beginning but after a while it just got annoying.

"How are you feeling" he asked me as he saw my pained expression, but you would have a pained expression too if rope was cutting into your wrists and you were dying for a pee but I didn't say that.

"I'm ok" I replied until Emma pipes up

"FUCKING HELL, OF COURSE WERE NOT ALRIGHT WERE STUCK WITH THESE FECKING ROPES CUTTING INTO US, STUCK WITH YOUR GOD DAMN UGLY FACE AND I'M DESPERATE FOR A BLOODY PEE"

well I know now I'm not the only one in that situation but I would never of said that to him in that why.

"Well milady we can arrange for you too go behing a bush" he gritted out through his teeth.

"THERE'S NO WAY IM FUCKING GOING BEHIND A BUSH YOU RETARD, KNOWING YOU GOD DAMN PERVY ELVES YOU'LL WATCH ME GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO SPY PANSY" Emma shouted.

"I WILL NOT HAVE YOU TALKING ABOUT MY ELVES THAT WAY WE WOULD DO NOTHING OF THE SOPRT YOU VILE…VILE PERSON"

woo I'd never think I would see Haldir shout he seems so calm, urgh most of the time anyway.

"ME VILE, YOU'RE THE ONE KEEPING US BLOODY HOSTAGES AND TIED UP, NO YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S VILE YOU ASS"

I think Haldir has finally lost his temper as he comes storming up towards Emma and grasps her shirt lifting her up.

"I WILL NOT HOLD MY SELF RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS IF YOU CARRY ON SPEACKING OUT OF TURN ABOUT MY SELF OR MY ELVES,

DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?" he shouted

"Crystal" Emma reply smugly.

Huh I wonder what she's up too, that look is never good.

"GOOD"

Haldir lets go of Emma and turns towards me.

"if there is anything you my need milady I will be happy to help" and with that Haldir leaves the flet.

Huh its just weird one minute he hates me then the next he likes me, I wish he'd make up his bloody mind. Ur wait what is that on Haldir's leggings, I try to take a closer look when Emma says.

"I wondered if they wore anything under the leggings, now my curiosity is satiated"

urgh no, I rub my head how the hell did she manage to do that, but my question is answered as she holds up Haldir's dagger in her hand. Now I'm not admitting that it was a bad site it was quite nice, but there will be a lot of trouble soon and all hell will brake out.

I hear a roar of laughter down below and I brace my self for whats coming next, I hear someone on the ladder and shuffle backwards trying to get as far as possible away for Emma, but right then I see Haldir in the entrance his face red with anger and embarrassment but more so of the first one.

He stalks towards us angered mirrored in his movements, I'm still a little afraid of that look come to orcs I will be not be afraid but with him its nightmarish with that look.

He turns to Emma and I can't help but giggle at what I see, right infront of me is the March warden of Lorien with a huge gaping hole in the back of his pants. I really hope he doesn't lean over too far because then it would be very unpleasant for me, because to Emma's question undergarments or none it seems that the March warden prefers free and goes with being commando under his leggings.

Ha that will be a thing to tell my children, the story behind Haldir and his choice of or lack of undergarments.

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yay another chapter done what do you think lol

R&R please.


	6. Blasted Bimbo Barbie!

Emma POV 

Oh my god I never knew that elf would be a stress head, yes I did cut a hole in his pants but its not like it couldn't be fixed. Anyway I don't give a shit it was too bloody funny seeing that look on his face. But what got on my nerves was after that he tied me to part of the flet and gagged me, well after our little argument.

"Y….Y…Y…O…."

"oh come on spit it out already" I said that stuttering was getting on my nerves.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU CUT A HOLE IN MY LEGGINGS" he shouted

"Oh so you finally noticed did ya, I wondered when you would start to feel a draft" I sniggered.

"THIS IS NOT FUNNY Y…O…U WENCH" he fumed.

"LISTEN HER BLONDIE, 1. THIS IS FUNNY, 2. I AM NOT A WENCH AND 3. FUCK OFF"

"I WILL NOT AS YOU SAY FUCK OFF, I WANT SOME ANSWERS AND I WANT THEM NOW"

this is boring all he does is shouting I wonder when he will finally shut up but as my character is I have to retaliate and also because he's a complete nob.

"NOT ONE FUCK IN HELL WILL YOU GET ANY ANSWERS FROM ME, NOW PISS OFF BEFORE I KICKYOU BLONDIE BITCH"

"I WILL NOT GO YOU INSOLENT CHILD UNTIL I GET THE ANSWERS I WANT, YOU ARE JUST BEING CHILDISH AND……"

that's it I've finally had enough of him so I went up to he and kicked him in his….ummm…where it hurts, and I 've never seen an elf fall that fast although I really haven't seen any if the first place.

"FUCK OFF BARBIE I AINT DEALING WITH YOUR SHIT ANYMORE"

now that Barbie is still on the floor clutching himself while the two twits look uneasy, well I can't be bothered with that, it was his own fault. Then what do you know it Barbie springs up off the floor and grabs me.

"WOT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING BARBIE?"

"DO NOT USE THAT NAME, MY NAME IS H.A.L.D.I.R,"

"WELL I GATHERED THAT DIP SHIT, BUT IT DOESN'T…"

with that the stupid moron gags me and ties me to the bloody tree, oh I feel so loved at the moment, can you feel the sarcasm, while I'm tied up all I can hear is the sniggering of my former friends I give them a glare that means I'll get them. Ha they turn to face the other way, but damn it now I have to sleep in this position all night.

BLASTED BIMBO BARBIE!

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Sorry i posted this late 00:10 lol

R&R please


	7. Are we there yet!

Now all the girls would of thought that Haldir would come back during the night to untie Emma or to at least apologize, but you know elves they probably never think they are never wrong. So Emma was actually in that position all night, but of that came with grumbling and death glares thrown at the other two girls. The other two girls made themselves comfy on the blankets laid out for them and were talking and Emma was stuck in the corner tied to a tree with a rather wicked gleam in her eyes promising payback. The girls finally fell asleep later on in the night as the elves shouted to shut the hell up; umm I wonder where they got that language from?

Early that morning Haldir finally decided to turn up, and early morning meant just before dawn which brought a few shouts but seeing as Emma was still tied up it was Hayley who did the shouting.

"Time to get up, it's morning and we need to be leaving"

"WOT THE FUCK, YOU CALL THIS MORNING THE SUN ISN'T EVEN UP YET YOU STUPID PANSY ELF, NOW GO AWAY SO WE CAN BLOODY WELL GO BACK TO SLEEP"

Now you can tell that Hayley wasn't really a morning person and get rather annoyed when she is woken up too early.

"Now rise and shine it's a wonderful morning" a teasing note in his voice

"Urgh wot are you I Haldir there's nout wonderful about the morning" Hayley grumbled while pulling the blanket over her head.

"Now come on….get up" he said while grabbing hold of the blankets

"hey Pansy get off the blankets"

"My name is not Pansy" he says

"Well no shit, now LEAVE ME ALONE" Halyley shouted the end bit out snatching the blankets out of his hands and proceeding to fall on her arse.

"Oww..bastard" she said while rubbing her arse.

**(snore snore!)**

they turn round to be faced with Lizzie drooling and mummering

"no no not the bears"

Haldir and Hayley look at each other, and Emma grumbling in the background and pointing towards Lizzie, Hayley finally gets the message and walks towards Lizzie and delivers a kick towards her before diving back into the blankets and pretending to be asleep. Lizzie bolts up in the air and starts screaming.

"EMMA I TOLD YOU TIME AND TIME NOT TO KICK ME AND WHAT DO YOU DO YOU, BLOODY KICK ME THAT'S THE LAST TIME"

Lizzie looks the room trying to spot Emma when she finally realises she's still tied to the tree, with an innocent expression on her face. If Emma's there who could of done it she thinks to herself, she sees Haldir with his face trying to hide the amusement in the situation, but of course Lizzie automatically thinks it's him cause he's laughing.

So she goes up to Haldir and smacks him upside the head,

"IT'S NOT FUNNY YOU STUPID I KNOW YOU DID IT, IS THAT HOW YOU TREAT GUESTS?"

After a couple more smacks Hayley decides to intervene as Lizzie might actually cause some damage to the already hehehe red faced elf.

"Lizzie calm down you might scar him" Hayley joked

But Haldir didn't know that and with elves so high and mighty dives for the corner mumbling

"no no me precious face….scars…." now he's rocking back and forward, you've got to take pity on that.

Hayley walks up to him and starts to pat his back,

"It's alright Haldir I didn't mean it literally"

"sniff….you…mean… I wont be scarred"

"no you won't" Hayley soothed the poor distraught elf.

" AWWW, LOOK THE PANSY ELF IS ALL SNIFFLY DO YOU NEED YOUR MOMMA" Emma baby talked from behind the two.

Both turned round to find that Lizzie had un tied Emma and now was trying to catch up on lost time.

"AWW HE'S SOOO CUTE WHEN HE'S CRYING POOR ITTLE BABY" SHE COOED.

Walking forwards and pinching Haldir cheeks, but the arrogant and cold exterior was back and Haldir stood up and smacked away Emma.

"I will not partake with any of your Childish activities, we are now leaving to see My Lord and Lady" with that Haldir stepped down the ladder and on to the floor below waiting for the rest us the girls to catch up.

When all the girls were on the ground the party set off to see the Lord and Lady, and hour later and the girls were already tired and bored. In the past they had probably tripped at least 10 times, after the first time the elves had found it amusing and laughed when Lizzie went flying over Haldir head and landed in a pile with her arse sticking up in the air but later on they grew frustrated with it.

Another hour went by.

"how many hours till we get there" shouted Hayley from the back

"Not till the end of the day" came the reply.

2 hours later

"Are we there yet"

"No we are not"

"Are we there yet"

"No not since the last time you asked"

"Ohh Ok…How about now"

"NO WE ARE NOT"

"NOW?"

"NO FOR VALARS SAKE WE ARE NOT, NOW SHUT UP"

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ok this is a longer chap hope you like

R&R please


	8. Stinky Breath,Arguements & fights

Now we've been walking for the most of the day, with only little rest and food to keep us going and to tell you we're bloody well knackered and of course bored, after awhile you do get fed up with looking at the same old trees over and over again.

'hmm I'm sure ive seen that tree before but they all look the same any way, as they say if you've seen one tree you've seen them all, well actually that's what I say'.

I look towards Emma and Lizzie beside me they look as bored as me, once Haldir told us off once again we decided that being silent was our best option for staying alive, but it was the most boring as well. Emma gave me a 'look' that means get your ass over here now otherwise I'll kick you, so for my safety I went over to see what she wanted.

"yeah wot do you want" I whisper.

"I think we need to torment Haldir" she whispered back.

"Emma don't you think we've tormented him enough a person can only take so much tormenting"

"yeah true, but you've forgotten he's not exactly a person he's a stuck up, arrogant elf so that equals more torture time"

"oh ok but this is the last time……well at least for today"

so we all gathered round to plot a plan to torment the beloved March warden, but our whispers were not quiet enough as it seemed as the March warden came stomping over to us with a cold mask on his mask, and not its not a real mask.

"WHAT ARE YOU THREE DOING" he spat at us

"nothing" Lizzie and I said in perfect innocence, ha maybe not be we had to try, but at the same time we said that Emma spat back.

"FUCK OFF AND TAKE A BREATH MINT YOUR BREATH FUCKIN WEL STINKS"

well that wasn't one of the best things to say but when does Emma ever do that?

Well at that point Haldir seemed at loos for words but his face turned and variety of colours before it went back to his pale and cold mask. The other elves stopped to listen to the argument and obviously found that this situation was very funny and far from out of the ordinary for the March warden. So they were lounging about round the tree watching the heated, shouting debate between Emma and Haldir.

"YOU ISOLENT MORTAL ELVES BREATHS DO NOT STINK"

"WELL YOURS DOES, SO THAT MEANS YOUR NOT FUCKING ELF JUST A PIXIE WHOSE GOTTEN TO BIG FOR HIS BOOTS."

"…..WELL LOOK AT YOU, YOU ARE A DIGUSTING FILTHY AND SMELLY HUMAN"

"THAT THE BEST YOU CAN CAME UP WITH, AND OF COURSE I AM THOSE THINGS THAT IS BECAUSE I AM A HUMAN WOTS YOUR EXCUSE" Emma retorted back.

Things were getting much vocal after that point but I decided to tune it out after I'm been in these kind of matches with Emma I know most of the things she will say, now 20 minutes after they started their beginning to get edgy and shifting on their feet. Urggh I know just what's going to happen, and yep it happens Emma lunges at Haldir

and knocks him off his feet, now I would of never thought that he could be flat on his back that quick……bad bad thoughts. Images now in my head of a particular someone in bed with only a sheet covering him, and with that thought I totally miss Emma punching Haldir in the nose but his yelp got my attention which is now focussed on the Bleeding Haldir and Emma repeatedly punching him. Now you would of thought his merry men would come to his rescue….Oooo my bad wrong fiction. Now you would of thought that his wardens would come to his rescue, but nooooooo that just stood there with an amused smile on their faces and Haldir taking the punches to his face and body.

Now I finally got fed up with that because dude Emma is soo messing up his face and I actually, kind of like his face the way it is. So I storm over to them Grab Emma, whose kicking and screaming at this point something about not finishing him and teaching him a lesson and dump her on the floor beside Lizzie and go back to see how Haldir is.

"Umm Haldir are you okay" I ask him, dumb question thought really of course he's not alright he just got beaten up by a 14 year old girl, I roll Haldir over and see that his face is covered in blood now I do feel sorry for him here.

"H…a…y…l….e……y." he asks

"yes its alright Haldir its me and Emma's not her at the moment…."

"OF COURSE IM HERE AND ONCE I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOUR……….." her shouting stopped and I turned to find Lizzie holding and stone in her hands and a smug smile on her face.

"that was for all the times she hit me" Lizzie said with a shrug.

I turn back to Haldir who is now sitting up, a frightened and wary expression on his face and once again his mask is back in place and storms off to clean him self up,

I look on after him with an amazed look on my face its woow he can sure change moods quickly I'm glad I'm not at Emma I wouldn't like to be in her position. Well when she actually wakes up that is she actually looks peaceful at the moment.

"MUUUHHHAAA I'LL GET YOU MY BARBIE" she mumbled.

* * *

sorry it took this long to update i've had alot of coursework and studyingto do as its coming up to my GCSE's soon, but i promise it won't be that long to update again.

Please R&R if you want it to continue and thanks and again for reading


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